Alexis Pinchuk

A “silly boys, trucks are for girls” bumper sticker personifies a driver’s truck.

My Thursday morning routines are simple: Be up by five o’ clock in the morning, prepare for the day and board my dad’s Chrysler minivan in order to get to school. The ride from Jupiter to Dreyfoos is typically uneventful, and normally involves my dad debating about the newest political event with my uncle as I try to drown out their phone conversation with my headphones.
However, my most recent ride with my father was one that ended with a spark of creativity thanks to the bumper of a beat up Toyota and a trendy blue Hybrid.

Nearly everyone has a bumper sticker or has at least seen one. I’ve always found it a bit amusing how one can tell an individual’s personality by what is plastered on the back of their car, and what model they drive.
Of course every assumption is considered a stereotype, but as drivers who have seen these bumper stickers too many times, it almost becomes second nature to quickly classify those who are bold enough to state their political, religious or educational standing.

For instance, the burgundy Toyota that passed me on the highway with the words “Assault Life” and a silhouette of a machine gun stuck to the back of his dusty window immediately allowed me to classify the driver. I can make the assumption that this person was most likely a hunter who’s idea of a fun day consists of shooting animals in a dark, woodland area, then heading home to throw the now deceased carcass on the grill. I do not I have a problem with his perceived actions, but I do humor myself as I recall his passive aggressive driving techniques, which seems to reflect his car’s rough image, and his personality perfectly.

The sporty Hybrid was a completely different story. As the young female driver sped up to pass my dad’s car in the next lane, I couldn’t help but notice the statement “How Does It Feel To Have Just Been Passed By A Girl?” on her back window. This driver was obviously a young college student who spends her free time on Tumblr and attending women’s empowerment meetings. It definitely took guts to paste that on her seemingly brand-new vehicle.

From the proud and independent college student to the proud and adoring mothers, bumper stickers reveal it all. You can always tell the Soccer Moms (school stickers, minivans and family logos) from the hardcore political activist (the past ten years’ Republican or Democratic candidates names’ on their Mercedes, right next to the American Flag).

The eccentric stickers that are found on the back of cars are a great way to pass time while taking a summer road trip. But driver beware, you can also decipher a person’s driving methods by the clever tattoos they give their cars, so proceed with caution, since their speeds can range from ten miles below the speed limit to first place at the Indianapolis 500.

So next time you are behind someone, read their bumper sticker. It may save you a long ride to work or a fender bender that ends in a call to your insurance company.