1300+ students. Bracket elimination. Only one winner.

During the Music Genre Day of Spirit Week, March 14, all students will embark on — perhaps — the greatest journey of their lives, a one vs. one, life or death scenario: A school-wide rock paper scissors competition. One wrong throw of your hands, and you’re eliminated. Here is your chance to gain the upper hand: The ultimate rock, paper, scissors guide, by three-time gold medalist, five-time Olympic finalist, and internationally renowned rock, paper, scissor professional — Gavin Murray. 

As students enter into the battlefield of their first class on Thursday, which is third period, they will be handed their lifeline: a beaded necklace corresponding to their grade level (blue for freshmen, green for sophomores, red for juniors, and black for seniors). Throughout class changes, Lip Dub, and lunch, students will challenge each other to a best out of three rock, paper, scissors round, with the winner taking the other’s necklace. Remember no backing out of a challenge, fight with honor.

As students fall like flies, only the strategic students will remain in power. So it’s important to outsmart your opponents. Specifically for men, don’t let their sheer manliness dissuade you from going against them; in fact, use it to your advantage. Susannah Cahalan, writing for the New York Post, explains that “Rock is the testosterone choice, the most aggressive, and the one favored by angry players. It’s no shock, then, that most men play rock first. On your first throw against a male opponent, the best choice to play is paper, especially in a ‘one-shot’ match. Women, meanwhile, are most likely to throw scissors.” 

For this day, you are going to need a lot of stamina and energy to make it through the constant, stressful rapid-fire rounds. I recommend getting a good night’s sleep and eating the breakfast of champions. I personally eat bananas and drink orange juice; however, if you’re feeling a bit risky, you can get the Lucky Charms or Cocoa Puffs at school.

It would also be advantageous to get in as much practice as possible before this day. While your family members or friends might not be enough of a challenge, I tend to practice in front of my mirror. For some reason, we always tie. But being in front of the mirror is a great way to master your outward appearance and body language. Stare into their eyes, put one hand flat and the other curled in front of your heart, make your back straight to appear as tall as possible, and lower your voice in order to sound more assertive. It may take a while for this to come naturally for you, it took me the better half of my lifetime, but now no one dares to go against me.  

If you do not think highly of your skills, and you might not be able to beat professionals who have trained their whole lives for this, like me, I would suggest trying the art of “disappearing.”  With avid rock, paper, scissor competitors looking for blood, it might be in your best interest to stay clear of populated areas on campus and try more secluded areas during lunch. This way you can last longer throughout the day simply by avoiding playing.

The final survivor of each grade level will face off the following day, during the Pep Rally. In the end, only one player will be victorious, and only one class will win the first rock, paper, scissors competition.

For now, mysteries remain. What fan favorites will get knocked out earlier than expected? What underdogs will make it to the final few? Which grade will become victorious? All exciting moments to wait for next week. 

So what will your first move be? Rock, paper, or scissors?

An update has been made to the story March 27: The final rock, paper, scissors competition was not held on Pep Rally day due to time constraints in the schedule.